Hello, everyone!
My name’s Michael. I’m a student from Glasgow who likes to write about things that are irritating. I’m slowly working on building up some kind of fanbase for this blog so that I don’t feel like I’m only writing it to entertain myself so, if you like it then please do leave me a comment or something so that I don’t have to chase you down using the stats.
If you like my writing then you can also find some of my work at The British Comedy Guide (coming soon) or by looking out for my name in Ark Magazine, which is coming out soon.
I figured that if you’re interested in knowing a bit more about me then I might fill in one of those Myspace-style about me things which will be full of the erroneous information that people feel the need to know about bloggers before they’re willing to read anything we write. Sometimes I wish I’d just started a blog in the persona of some high-class prostitute to save me the hassle of having to do this kind of thing.
1. Were you named after anyone?
I’m not named after anyone although I’m often told that my name should actually be Steven. My middle name is James which was my Papa’s name. I suppose that counts, doesn’t it?
2. When did you last cry?
I can’t say I cry particularly often and I’ve managed to convince a lot of people that I have no tear-ducts. However, I’m not actually blessed with such a gift and I’d imagine that I shed a tear the last time I took a massive hit to the testicles. You would too, if you had any.
3. Do you like your handwriting?
Interesting fact. I can no longer write in lower case due to the fact that I’ve spent so long typing. It’s a nightmare to not be able to write in lower case. I think I might start some kind of charity for those that have been utterly ruined by computers.
4. Do you have kids?
I do not. I am a bitter young man.
5. If you were another person would you be friends with you?
Probably not, no. I’d follow me on Twitter or I’d read my blog but to be honest I don’t think I’d like the levels of over-analysis that I pull out of the bag any time there’s a TV on anywhere near me. I’m a nightmare in Currys.
6. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
No…
…fine; yes.
7. Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes.
8. Would you do a Bungee Jump?
I don’t really know to be honest. Maybe if you pay for it.
9. What is your favourite cereal?
I’m not a fan of cereal, to be honest. I quite like those Coco Pop things that are like the thing that used to have a crocodile on the front of them. I’m not really very good at identifying cereal. Forgive me.
10. Do you untie your shoes before you take them off?
I’m a fan of high-top trainers so, short of ripping my feet off at the ankles, I kind of have to.
11. Do you think you are strong?
I look stronger than I am.
12. Favourite ice-cream?
Mint Choc Chip, bizzatch.
13. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Whether they’re doing anything out of the ordinary or wearing anything out of the ordinary.
14. Red or Pink?
Red.
15. What is the least favourite thing about yourself?
It should be the fact that I’ll procrastinate my way into difficult situations but it’s the fact that I’ve not seen as many films as I’d like to have.
16. Who do you miss the most?
Barry Manilow. What’s that guy up to?
17. What colour shoes are you wearing?
Grey. Converse. High tops. They’re very nice.
18. What was the last thing you ate?
A mini Daim sweet.
19. If you were a crayon what colour would you be?
Burnt Sienna. Every time.
20. Favourite smells?
Probably fresh baked bread.
21. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Dr Sarah Gurney from Radio Caley.
22. Favourite sports to watch?
Football, definitely. I love a nice bit of football.
23. Eye colour?
Brown
24. Hair colour?
Brown. I’m so dull.
25. Last beauty treatment?
I’ve never had one. You’d probably be able to tell that.
26. Do you wear contacts?
I used to but they were a bloody nightmare and I gave up.
27. Favourite food?
I love coleslaw. Like, really good coleslaw. I know it’s more of a garnish but you can sod off, if that’s your attitude.
28. Scary movies or happy endings?
Strange endings.
29. Last movie you watched?
The Royal Tenenbaums. I wasn’t really paying attention.
30. What colour of shirt are you wearing?
A grey Threadless t-shirt called “Imposter“.
31. Summer or Winter?
Summer. After this winter and living in a high-ceilinged flat with dodgy windows then definitely Summer.
32. Hugs or Kisses?
Bit of both?
33. Favourite dessert?
Can I have a starter instead?
34. What book are you reading at the moment?
The Hell of it All by Charlie Brooker
35. What is on your mouse pad?
You’re messing with me, right? The last one I ever had was Hagar the Horrible. Christ knows how I remember that but there you go.
36. What is your wallpaper?
This.
37. What did you watch on TV last night?
Some of Screenwipe. It seems like I only do things related to Charlie Brooker, doesn’t it? It’s just a coincidence.
38. Last piece of music listened to?
It’s a brilliant track called ”Pacific Coast Highway“ by Kavinsky.
39. Rolling Stones or The Beatles?
The Beatles
40. What is the farthest you have been from home?
Norway, I think. I’m scared of getting burgled so I don’t go too far away.
41. Do you have a special talent?
Not particularly. I think I’m okay at writing; will that do?
42. What is your ring tone?
This.
43. Message Alert?
I bloody wish I was able to change it. Every time I try it goes back to the default HTC sound; bloody annoying.
44. Favourite sound?
Anguish.
