Hello Guys, Michael has kindly invited me to contribute a guest Fadvertising post so here goes…
Rather than risk overlapping with any of Michael’s fantastic work in archiving the worst examples of contemporary ads, I’ve decided to delve into my youth. (By which I don’t mean that I’m fisting an abductee in my cellar) Back in the late 90s this was a genuine example of a Scottish public health campaign:
Unusually for someone included in the demographics ‘Scottish’, ‘prone to mood swings’, and ‘comedian’…I’ve never been into drugs. Just not for me. My behaviour when drinking to excess has always led to enough hungover soul-searching without me feeling the need to upgrade. If I ever was going to end up on drugs though, then heroin’s the one that could certainly be ruled out.
Or so I’d have thought until I was around 19 and this advert invaded Scottish screens. For starters, what was the main thing that repelled me from the notion of ever dabbling with heroin? Needles. What could seem less natural, and conjure up more associations with hospitals and mortality than a needle in the arm? Now note the early words of this advert: “You’re only smoking it.”
Until this advert came out I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD ‘JUST’ SMOKE HEROIN!
Already, they’d knocked me down from a 100% certainty of never trying heroin to a wavering 99.5%. Still, this advert was being put out by the Health Education Board For Scotland. So as long as I followed what they said I’d be safe, wouldn’t I?
Well, other worries that HEBS were expressing about young people’s health around this time were that they were:
Overweight: Hang on, don’t heroin addicts always look really skinny? Oh fuck, I’m down to 97%.
Spent too much time playing on consoles: But if I end up as a smackhead I’ll have to sell my console, right? Like in the advert? 90%.
Didn’t spend enough time outdoors: Where is he at the end of the advert? He’s outside begging for change! He’s losing weight, he’s not spending all his time on a console, and he’s out in the fresh air!
Anyway, if you’ll all excuse me, I have to go and suck a stranger’s cock in an alleyway for my next fix. I tell you what, however much I swallow, that weight just keeps coming off..
[...] Also, I’ve done a guest blog for Michael Park (Twitter’s @GreatCollapso)’s site Fadvertising.net. You can find it HERE [...]
The silent junkie in the middle is called Alistair. He used to work as a claims handler for Royal and SunAlliance.
FACT!